Growing up, the glittery, pop star world of Disney Channel was first exposing me to the pressure of looking perfect. My school disco outfits were suddenly accessorised with sparkly headbands and sequined tops - very much influenced by little me wanting to look like Hannah Montana. But was I being exposed to a perfectionist world at too young an age? With High School Musical airing in 2006, I was of the prime generation exposed to back to back musical films that filled my Fridays with cheesy pop songs. However, in hindsight, a lot of the child stars were unhappy and were puppets of this large industry. Yet, I thought the perfect life was being a star on TV. I actually remember googling Disney Channel castings - my parents didn’t take the hints. So perfectionism was there from an early age and was already deceiving my expectations.
Then, fast forward to today and there stacks of self-help books in Waterstones saying ‘become happier in 100 days’ are covered in shiny, metallic writing. Or a book filled with ways of trying to stay calm, when that is simply not going to happen. There tends to be many anecdotes on how ‘so called celebrity’ was failing and now is suddenly living in a £1 million house. However, for a perfectionist this trajectory isn't real. Failure can keep happening because everyone’s idea of perfection is very different. There are 3 types of perfectionism: self oriented (projected onto ourselves), other oriented (projected on others) and socially prescribed (influenced by culture). With our generation being obsessed with wellness and self-care, the cosy Instagram reels and heart shaped ice cubes suggest that life needs to be at an impeccable standard.
However, It is hard to think of perfectionism as being a bad thing when so many famous people seem to have thrived off it. Would Carlos Alcaraz have won Wimbledon this year if he hadn’t trained super hard? As outsiders we can’t ever see what goes on in high performing athletes or award winning actors' inner psyches. There has to be a level of needing to achieve the most but perfectionism is hard when the ultimate goal is achieved - what is then left? I watched Djokovic smash his tennis racket at Wimbledon as he was being defeated by 20 year old Alcaraz. The physical frustration shown by Djokovic shows that despite winning Wimbledon 7 times, to lose again is not good enough. It could be argued that his perfectionism has led him to his success or comes at a cost.
When I write my to-do list the night before (this is not every night) sometimes the goals I write down are ridiculous. Usually when I am at University I pile copious amounts of work onto myself, making sure I hit every detail. For me, this works when I achieve well but is not the right mindset to have all the time. I find when it comes to other parts of my life that are outside of work I will then be more closed off, as I don't want a distraction. Yet, the balance is the biggest thing as living a 'perfect life' simply isn't going to happen. Writing realistic goals is important as then I will actually feel like I’ve achieved something. This is the thing, to not be perfect isn’t to not work hard, it is to lessen the pressure on myself.
So if I had to say one thing to my future self about handling perfectionism it would be to stop trying to plan out the next 10 years. I feel that at 22 years old, more than ever, pressure can mount on finding your feet. I wish I could have all the answers to where I will be in the next few years and how to 'perfectly' succeed - but you can't. As a true perfectionist I even thought I could of wrote this article better but you have to start somewhere!