A self-reflection on 2023

To start this off, I haven’t made any 2024 resolutions yet but I have found myself starting to reflect upon the year. In a way I feel smug that I don't need to write a list of the goals I want to achieve in 2024. Then, after sipping some wine, in my 'resolution-free' state' I remember it's because I'm 22 and don't know what I'm doing.

The videos of people joking ‘if December me could see January me’ is a tad relatable but also is slightly the point. 365 days is a long time and if everything was the exact same as it was in January then I would feel concerned (there's only so many times I can watch The Summer I Turned Pretty before I do get up and have a life). From the amount of work I have had to wade through at University, to internships or even just what I’ve learnt about myself (cliché I know), it’s been a long-long year. 

In that space of time here are the niche things I did learn in 2023:

1. Sometimes you are never going to be ready, no matter how organised or early you try to be!

I’m not talking about waking up for a 10am lecture but more in terms of big projects. Things I didn’t feel ready for this year were any of my second year modules, my internship or tackling my final year production. I remember when each of these started I felt like I was drowning. But, after managing to make it out the water alive I now realise that the scariness of it works. I am an organiser, I like to know when things are to happen and what the situation is going to look like. Yet, I’ve realised this year I can’t and that actually not having the answers, yet believing in yourself is the key to achieving or getting through it. 

1. Birthdays in your twenties are really strange

It feels a common theme that every birthday I’ve had so far in my twenties (20,21,22) have each been a bit of a car crash. 

20th: I was on zoom to 5 of my friends whilst drinking a bottle of prosecco in an empty flat, after working an 8hr shift at the COVID centre

21st: I got hit by a flying VK bottle on a student night out and had a hangover mixed with concussion

22nd: I drank a whole bottle of ALDI Aperol spritz (I mean it was called Aperini) and had to be taxied home before my night out

And, I can safely say I have accepted that every year I turn older in my twenties feels like a step to 30 (which is not old btw). However, it always goes a bit wrong and I only wish there was a Taylor Swift song for every birthday year. 

1. Having a career idea does not make the idea of graduating any easier

One of my favourite monologues from a play is the character saying ‘what if everyone knew what I was supposed to do the whole time but no-one said anything’. The pressure on oneself to choose the path they go down is actually terrifying. Even though I can do what I would ‘like’ to do, it doesn’t mean that I self-doubt the idea in case it’s totally wrong. I can update on that next year as currently it really feels like I’m in the middle of this. 

1. Hangovers are the worst at Christmas 

Maybe I did write this after having one of the worst hangovers recently but it is always at this time of year. I don’t why but Christmas hangovers are always really bad. Is there a scientific reason for this? Or because it is the end of the year and people simply just take it too far. The months of tiredness and stress leading up the season mean that alcohol consumption is risky. Just don’t ever mix a bottle of wine with pints and then you will be fine. 

1. Make spontaneous plans!!!

I feel like this year I have said ‘yes’ to a lot of plans and opportunities meaning that I have a lot of stories to reflect over or have hangxiety about. Or even if it is a spontaneous holiday, I think the time we have in our twenties should be about creating as many little moments as possible. One of my favourites from this year was a last minute Amsterdam trip, in which we booked on facetime at 11pm at night. Was it expensive? No comment. But worth it to look back on in the end. 

1. I will never be ashamed of my love of pop culture

I have realised this year through becoming more self aware of how much nonsense I know about the celebrity world. If I can’t be a successful actor, then I will just analyse the industry is what I’ve decided. However, this year the more I look at the world of glamour the more I’m glad I won’t be involved - but I still would like to know who is dating who in the Hollywood realm. 

1. 2024 is just another year

Emma Chamberlain’s podcast (Anything Goes) recently had a good theory about seeing the new year as just slipping in January. That means no big resolutions or rushing to do dry January, it’s just another month. As I get older it feels less pressure to build up another year when time moves fast. I write a lot about feeling the need to do well or be the best when in fact, living it day to day is far more important.

1. I am the agony aunt of dating advice to my friends

After my experiences or never spoken about dates again, it suddenly comes in handy at the ripe age of 22. I felt honoured this year when several friends called upon me for advice in their love life. Mentally, I feel like the Dolly Alderton of my friendship group and will happily carry this into the new year. I wouldn’t say I always take my own advice but thankfully my past experiences have started to count for something. 

So that is my reflection upon 2023 and I will be back to writing in the New Year! Unless I write in the next week out of boredom but I would like to start fresh in the new year. In 2024 as well, I want to work a bit more on this blog and the direction I take it in as it a comfort space for me to write whatever. This year I have really appreciated anyone who has taken the time to read my random thoughts! - Iona x